I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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