when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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