It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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