we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
