sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize