I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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