Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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