problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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