ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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