Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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