I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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