Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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