oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
