She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
