i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
