I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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