Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
