# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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