hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
