Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
