when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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