They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
