His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
