Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize