Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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