Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
