SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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