Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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