im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
