I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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