Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
