I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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