It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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