Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
