I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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