So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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