You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
