my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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