today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
