forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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