I need help removing her.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
