i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
