Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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