hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
