I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
