i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?