Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.