Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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