i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
