Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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