"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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