Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize