No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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