This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
