I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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