There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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