I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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