This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
