she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
