I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
