we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize