it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
