i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
